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<Raised on Promises> posted: 26 Mar at 8:03 am
No one is forcing you to attend.
I had a destination wedding.
I understood perfectly well that not everyone would be able to afford the trip. I didn’t hold it against anyone who was unable to attend. I had a big party when we returned for everyone who was unable to attend and they got to see a video of the wedding.
I have not heard anyone of them say they thought it was “rude” of us to get married cheaply and out of the state they live in
I had my wedding for me, not for everyone else.
Do you plan to pay for the cost of travel for everyone one of the guests at your wedding?
Angie posted: 28 Mar at 10:31 pm
If it were me, I wouldn’t go. It’s all very well with the “friends for over 20 years” and all that, but you and your fiance are planning out your own marriage and getting ready to start on your own lives. $450 per day is a HUGE amount of money to spend, plus fares, plus gift, plus food, etc etc., even if you weren’t planning your own wedding.
Maybe you fiance could go with one of his friends who is also a long term friend of the groom, then the costs would be halved?
As you say, the couple getting married are doing it on the cheap, and thats fabulous, but they have also put their friends and family in a difficult position.Go and spend money they don’t have, or don’t go and look like they don’t care. Like a little emotional blackmail. I think that’s pretty tacky and thoughtless, though.
Whatever you decide, congrats on your own engagement!!
Suz123 posted: 01 Apr at 2:38 am
Then send your fiance without you.
Or better yet, neither of you have to attend. Save all that money for your own wedding. You always have the option to decline an invitation.
If your presence was absolutely necessary at this wedding, the couple would have had their wedding much, much closer to home.
Doesn’t matter if this is family or friends you have known and loved for 20 years. If you were a necessary part of the wedding, they would make it more convenient for you. They would either be paying your way (both airfare and hotel), or they would keep the wedding local.
Just say, “No. Sorry, but we are unable to attend. We need to put all our money toward our own wedding.”
Da Ditka posted: 04 Apr at 4:21 am
Uh-Oh!
Someone sounds jealous!
*Mommy* ~and~ *B2B* posted: 06 Apr at 10:03 am
I am sure the friends planning the wedding understand that not everyone will be able to afford this trip.
And $450 a day is a pretty hefty sum!
They are getting off cheap, and that is probably why they decided to do that.
Write them a thoughtful note explaining that you and your fiance are so sorry to have to miss their wedding but you can just not possibly afford it with your own wedding looming…send them a wedding card with a cash gift or gift card. Invite them to dinner (on you) when they return as a congrats.
But…it is not rude of them to do. That is what they wanted. That would be like them saying its rude because you are serving chicken at your wedding and they do not like chicken.
Good?Gyrl posted: 06 Apr at 12:03 pm
1. Are destination weddings worth it?
They can be. It really depends on the location and the scale of the wedding. It can be “worth it” intrinsically, for example, the bride always wanted to have a beach wedding, but she lives in a landlocked state, well … she’ll probably have to go out of town to have the wedding she wants.
Sometimes destination weddings can be difficult to coordinate, but a good planner and organized bride can handle this.
2. “I have my own wedding to plan and I think it is rather rude.”
Sure, the expense of the trip probably isn’t at the best time for you; however, it’s rude and selfish to complain about someone else’s choice of event venue, or anything else about the event. These people invited you to share in their special moment, and to party with them. If you don’t want to spend the money, or don’t have the money, just say you can’t go, period. Invite them to a nice dinner or resolve to do something as couples when they get back in order to save money. Put simply (and I’m not trying to be mean), it’s in poor taste for you to even mention that it’s a burden for you.
Platinum Bride 2B posted: 07 Apr at 3:44 am
Then just don’t go, if you are unable to afford it. They will understand. We are having a destination wedding, and a lot of our invited guests are not able to attend due to airfare and the hotel costs. We aren’t hurt. I certainly don’t think it’s rude of us either to have the type of wedding that we dream of having. If you can afford it, fine. If you can’t, fine too.
Allie posted: 10 Apr at 12:44 am
Well since I am having a destination wedding I would say yes. My parents are both dead and we don’t belong to a church so I am not going to go in order to get married here. It will be a hard day for me without my parents but I am hoping the love we have from our friends and family will help me through. We also understand not everyone is going to be able to come with us, the cost, the economy, some of our friends are teachers and go to school so they can’t miss. That is the price WE pay, not having some loved ones close. We are having ours simulcast on the internet though so if our friends and family cannot come, they can watch it online and for the next 30 days after. No one is forcing you to go, and if you just want to send your fiance fine. You don’t have to stay a week, we are getting to Vegas on a Wed., getting married Sat. and we are leaving Sunday; some guests are staying longer and that’s fine with us.
Long story short: it’s their wedding, you don’t have to go, but it sounds like your fiance will be going with or without you.